Perspective and the bitch called Karma

With age changes perspective and the advent of such change are those turning points of life which ultimately decide the course of one’s life. The image of life being a huge sugar gilded jujube takes a toss as random occurrences lifts the sheer veil off the imagery and reveals unto us the chess like game of life. You have your own army, your own accepted wisdom and most importantly your set of laws to guide you through to usurp and overthrow the power of your opponents, those inner and outer demons you constantly battle day in and out in every walk of your life.

They say life is a constant battle between the good and the bad, the right and the wrong, the virtue and the vice. And the sum total of all the choices we make defines the person we are. But why paint such a monochromatic picture when there are a thousand more colours to be explored in between? What was taught to us as the ultimate truth, unquestionable and rational enough to be truly believed may not be so. As the cliché goes there’s more than that meets the eye. Over the time as the circumstances change, so does change our perspectives. What seemed right and noble sometime ago may not truly be so. And what might seem like wrong might have underlying reasons for not complying with the society laid norms. What exactly matters is the perspective. Experiences, both good and bad, are in fact the necessary lessons learnt by man in the due course of his journey of life which decides in what projected light a man finally sees the picture. Often as happens to be the case it never pays to be judgemental. The picture is too big to be comprehended in only one angle.

But in no circumstances does man become competent enough to earn the licence to inflict upon another man pain, either mental or physical. You cannot be partaking of another man’s curse every living day of your life. What is done in pure innocence is forgivable as a mistake but a repetition fosters your position in the tight spot. The point is rationalisation. It is about justification. It is about the balance of the scales. The conclusive justification of your actions might actually not make you the wrong doer. Question arises- Does a change of perspective help here? Well not really. A change of perspective will give you points enough to prove your end of the story but who said the good would turn to bad and vice-versa?  The black don the garb of white?  All that will come of it is the ability to balance those colours in between logically enough to appeal to the greater senses. But at the end of the day it is that tiny voice, deep seated in some abject corner of the brain ringing constantly in keeping with our actions, which reveals unto us the truth way before the world judges it, way before we ourselves come to a meticulous conclusion about our actions. In a way it is always about karma and somebody long ago called her a bitch!!

The allegory of nothingness....

Like the scent of a distant unseen blossom, it drifts in the midnight air, crude yet hypnotizing, doubtful yet substantial. You tend not to question its existence for you know your senses may give away in the quest for an answer. You live in its bounty asking not its presence but basking in its omnipresent sheen. For a fraction of a moment doubt does tend to cloud your senses but too long have you submitted to the clutches of this venomous serpent and yes it was by choice. You want, for a change, to break free from the shackles that had been trying to protect you from a fall. The soul within yearns to fly this time and think not of the consequences-overcoming fear, regaling in the thrill you've been abandoning for so long for the fear of falling over the precipice and being failed by the ones you trusted. But no longer. You throw caution to the winds, spread your wings, as the sweet nothing beckons and pursue it zealously. Life gives you a satisfactory smile because for once you've learnt to live life in "today" and not "tomorrow".

The walk…..

Not long ago had I contemplated my next move. It was not a conscious decision but one taken in haste. In pure haste. But it let things happen to me. What don’t ask. I don’t know. I haven’t catalogued what they are, were or are going to be. I just let them happen to me. They ripped me….i bleed…..they tortured me……left me maimed…..but I moved on……for at times they just made life worth it. For the sheer joy of the wound healing is sweet to put it brusquely. That makes you realize the worth of things- many deemed so worthless by many of us that we wouldn’t stop to take a second glance at them were they sold in supermarkets- but “simple little things” in your life sometimes makes you smile, and man would pay a million dollars to smile like that.  The road might not be the city highway you imagined where you would flaunt your swish car in full glory but a countryside “bumspter” (looks like I invented a  word eh?) and you are no better than the country bumpkin……dragging on with life……but with the motive of reaping your harvest.  Yes the golden harvest which awaits your loving hands to caress them and for you to soak in their freshness, warmth ,beauty and tranquility…………., something you would be left searching for in your concrete jungle……and suddenly you realize your heart is all flesh and blood not nickel as you imagined…………

It takes that little piece of judgment to break free from that thing which had been intoxicating your mind for a lump of time now. It ain’t any easy. It had been in your mind for sometime now. Glued to your thoughts as if by adhesive….and your thoughts do take into account its existence. A “what-if” constantly plays in your mind like an old record stuck somewhere in the middle, repeating the same silly verse a thousand odd times until you stop it yourself, put the pin aside yourself. Yes its more or less a conscious decision to break free. Bound by the shackles of a ……..what? does it even have a name? That thing which holds you back? That thing that you seemingly tend to believe flows with your blood? The thing which even your own leucocytes do not deem foreign to your system, as if you have inherited it? Naah inheritance is not the question here. You let it grow there. You didn’t inherit it. You mothered it. You let it grow in your being. You nurtured it. That thing. It was perhaps a conscious effort to let it dwell there despite knowing the futility of your action just for the “feel-good” factor. But you forgot ……you forgot something important ……that it grows there not just under your supervision. it needs support. Something not innately present in you for the key to that support is perhaps held by someone-someone else…..so it grows in your being but like the beanstalk running across your backyard….aimlessly…. and until you give it a support it threatens to run haywire engulfing your entire existence and you become a question to yourself. So you root it out….right through. You don’t need it there anymore perhaps. it lacks the support called reciprocation. You cannot let it threaten your survival. Chisel it way from your thoughts, may be for eternity. But then what do you do with its carcass? Nothing? Haah you cant let it away so easily can you? You mothered it at one point of time after all. Wrap it in a shroud and keep it safe…..away from sight…tucked away into some unseen nook…. It’s a souvenir you collected along the journey called life…..